I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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