standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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