Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
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