I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
