There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think I won the penis lottery.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
