oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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