did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize