I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize