I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
