it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
