I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
