I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
im on a boat
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