You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
