i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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