How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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