Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
