she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
