talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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