youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
