He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
