you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
