She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize