is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
