conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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