Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
