My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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