i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
