Whod you bang
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize