i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
