I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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