Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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