Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize