For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
