if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
