I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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