One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
