So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You are the jesus of drinking
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
