call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
