It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
