After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize