Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize