If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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