i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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