she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
