those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
