It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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