let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
