Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
