You really coming over, don't trick.
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
