I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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