I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Come see our sink grown plant.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize