It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
