so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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