so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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