Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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