dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
