I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
