1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
