apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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