It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
