3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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