I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
