Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
