Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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