i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think your dad took our porno
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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