I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
